IS THIS LOVE??
You know the feeling where in you can't stop thinking of him and you tend to imagine things that hopefully would happen in the near future, the grossness doesn't stop there! It's like whenever he's there I need to be nearly perfect or at least try to impress him and the worse part is I tend to be super conscious, I used to not look in a mirror that much and now whenever he's approaching or around, powder, lip gloss, hair brush and mirror are my best friends .. Well, maybe this is what it feels like to be attracted to your opposite sex, I mean I have crushes but only on celebrities but never have I experienced liking some one who is within my reach.
I never knew this day would come, My mom keeps telling me not to entertain suitors because It could distract my studies and I used to think that why would I do something to bring myself down and ALAS!! I ate my words. Instead of studying, I chose to think of him. Instead of making my homeworks, I finally made our daughter's name. Now call me obsessed but you can't blame me, I'm a teenager for Love's sake and this is all new to me.
But this LOVE thingy is frustrating me, I used to be confident and enjoying every moment in school and with friends but now, I keep looking for him and when he's around I feel like I'm 1 inch tall and that he's gonna step on me not only that above my awkwardness, he doesn't even notice my existence. talk about insensitive and heartless, how could he let a fragile girl like me, make a fool on herself whenever he's around and yet he's clueless?? whew!! Freakishly Frustrating right??
But anyways, maybe this is better. At least I won't disobey my mom about our "No Boyfriend Until 20 Rule" because he's not in to me and I'm obviously and thankfully far way to temptations. I may not have my first boyfriend yet but I'm still happy because it's a good experience and makes me not a "Loser" when it comes to adolescence stage, now I totally belong to the "Newly Awkward Teenage Wannabes". I'm totally kidding. That's the last club that I wanna be into.
This experience of mine is a nice thought to keep:
"Live and enjoy LIFE but know your limitations to prevent unwanted frustrations"
<3
