My mom and dad was legally separated around three to four years ago, I was still a freshmen in High school and my dad won over the custody due to the reason that my mom was such a workaholic and that she didn't had time for us. I really didn't know up to now why they separated and before I keep on asking questions but no one wanted to entertain my curiosity and I got tired of wanting to know about it. Ever since that separation my dad forbid me to ever see my mom again and even if my mom has the right to fight for that unjustness, she seemed to be so scared of my dad and I could still remember that very moment when I celebrated my 15th birthday and my mom secretly called me so that we could met up and celebrate my day with her because if my dad knew, it would be such a big mess and since I had classes that day, I skipped it just to spend my special day with her. Imagine secretly meeting up with your own mother .. how cruel, my dad must be?? just for drawing out that much fear into my mom's life. Several birthdays, Christmas, New Years .. these are the occasions I have skipped celebrating with my mom because my dad would kill me if i disobeyed him, he never hurt me though but it's as if I was experiencing what my mom was feeling and I hated my dad for forbidding me to see the person who suffered most just to bring me to this world that I'm living and I told myself that I would totally abandon him and live with my mother if he would continue this and he did and so, I decided to leave my dad and live with my mom, without his permission of course. My mom and I went to a place where in my dad couldn't find us, where he couldn't disturbed us, that's why I'm here in Iligan. His absence made me stronger and such a fighter and along with those are my anger and hatred for him, I hated him for ruining our family, I hated him for making me sacrifice my own happiness for his satisfaction, I hated him for hating my mom and I hated him for making me cry every night because I missed him .. I hated him that much and my mom kept telling me that I shouldn't hate him because whatever I do or whatever he has done wrong, he will always be my dad and I couldn't change that but i never listened to her. I thought this hatred of mine wouldn't be gone but there was a moment around few months ago where I met this new block mate of mine and we were really close because somehow I see myself in her, same attitude, same hobbies, practically same problems in life. I thank God that I met her because she was the reason for the new and changed outlook in my life. Why? because one day I saw her crying and I went near her then she told me that his father died due to a heart disease and It's like my heart was plunged by a knife because I was afraid that It would happen to me to and the thing that made her regret all her hatred is that she didn't even had a chance to tell his father all those things and his father didn't even had the chance to apologize and explain his side and she never also had the chance to tell his father that she loves him despite of all those hatred even for the last time. At that very moment, my dad's face flashed into my mind and right there, I realized that my mom was right, He is my dad and whatever he has done wrong still he is my father, he loves me and I also realized that I shouldn't waste my life hating him, as long as I still have the chance, I would settle everything and that I would make him feel that I'm still here, loving him and waiting for him to change. So the first step that I made was that I called my dad, I apologized and told him that I love him no matter what but I still didn't told him where I am. I'm giving him time to renew his self and prove to me and to my mom that he is worth forgiving but deep inside I already forgave him, I just want him to have this kind of motivation for him to change for the better!!!
"Our parents are only humans like us, they make mistakes but it doesn't make them less of a parent, it just makes them more human."
^_^
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